I am not a Donovan McNabb fan – I am not that guy.

Many people annoy me because they tell me that because I don’t have a football team, that I can’t talk about why the Eagles are horrible or why any team that someone might like is horrible. Well, that is about to change because after last night, I started pricing a customized Redskins home jersey.

I don’t know how many of you feel about Donovan McNabb, the Eagles, Andy Reid or whatever. Personally, I think that Donovan has great skill at the quarterback position, but his personality is corn-ball-ish…the Michael Jackson kicks when he scores…those stupid looks on his face just about every time you see him on the sidelines…him smiling after an interception or a bad pass…And why didn’t anyone tell him that he looked absolutely ridiculous with those braids in his hair? He has no hairline and he looked ridiculous, but I digress. Say what you want about the guy, but the fact of the matter is that the Philadelphia Eagles management – Jeffrey Laurie (OWNER), Howard Rosen (GM), Joe Banner (TEAM PRSIDENT) and Andy Reid (COACH and DIR. OF PERSONNEL) – did Donovan McNabb dirty. They made him the scapegoat and they traded him without the decency of handling the situation with the class the man deserved for his years of service to the team.

I hate the Philadelphia Eagles…let me say this again, I HATE…H . A . T .E . the Philadelphia Eagles. Many of my friends are Eagles fans. Let me say to you, I like you guys, I hate your team. Trading Donovan McNabb isn’t why. Let me put it this way: it’s like the episode of Family Guy when Peter loss his driver’s license and Meg had to drive him and his friends around…Peter dogged her the whole time, i.e. setting her hair on fire. But when she stopped her car, and the guy hit her from behind and came out the car to cuss her out, Meg lost it. That guy didn’t make Meg snap, his actions were simply the last straw. All her frustrations were let out on him and she whipped his ass. Well, The Eagles are like Peter Griffin: over the years, they’ve done a lot of dumb things that have annoyed the hell out of me. Trading McNabb is like setting Meg’s hair on fire and when the Eagles miss the playoffs for 2 consecutive years, Eagles fans are gonna snap. I am not an Eagles fan, but you cannot escape Philly sports when you live in the Delaware Valley. So instead of going to see a therapist long before the tribulation period sets in around here, I figure I’ll cut out the middle man and let my feelings out. My wife always says that I need to communicate, so let me communicate – The Philadelphia Eagles, I hate you.

Now, let me say this here, Donovan McNabb is a punk. He was so consumed with trying to be the “Anti-Black Quarterback.” He forgot his roots. At Syracuse, all this fool did was run. He was a decent passer in college, but he ran that option better than most. And when he came into the league, he ran. But, so consumed by the talk and what people said and what he thought people said, he changed his style, and it was aight, but it didn’t really make him a great quarterback…not great enough to win. Then, he was a punk with T.O. in town. Now I love T.O. The way the Eagles did him, and I know T.O. made matters worse himself, but the way the Eagles handled that situation, after Owens came back early and risked his career to win the Super Bowl…pay the man. That is another reason why I hate the Eagles, but I digress. I love T.O., but it he was talking ish about me and this is my team, I would have been in his face and told him to shut the F*@% up and sit down somewhere. T.O. isn’t the only muscular dude in the locker room. And see, as a football player and as a man, when you stand up, you gain respect. Yo don’t gain any respect when your dad calls a press conference and pleads with T.O. to stop the Black on Black crime. That gets you no respect. Now I know I wasn’t in that locker room so I don’t know what was going on, but the reporters even said that the locker room was divided with 50% for #5 and the other half for #81. Come on…if that were Favre, Manning or Brady, there would be no question 100% of the team would be behind them, point blank period. And, in the biggest game of his life, a game the Eagles should have won, the man choked. Andy Reid is to blame there as well, but when the team needed him most, Donovan choked. Donovan could never will his team to victory. All those comeback wins, most came on the back of both Brian Westbrook and the Eagles Defense, and they sent them all packing over time. Who on the defense went packing you asked? Hmm… Brian Dawkins, Sheldon Brown, Lito Shepherd, Al Harris, Jeremiah Trotter, Ike Reese, Michael Lewis (They let go of some of the bums…so I can’t be one-sided, but you gotta keep your core guys). And so, that is the case against McNabb, and I am not mad that the team traded him…it’s just how they did it that makes me mad, and the fact that you got these Eagles fans acting like Kevin Kolb is the second coming of Jesus and McNabb was simply John the Baptist is stupid.

Now listen. For all that Donovan McNabb wasn’t, if you are an intelligent sports fan, then you know that McNabb was one of the best of his generation. Let me break it down. In the 1999 NFL Draft, 5 quarterbacks were drafted in the first round…(1) Tim Couch, (2) McNabb, (3) Akili Smith, (11) Daunte Culpepper and (12) Cade McNown. Who was the best outta that draft class? And don’t say that you cannot compare because they compare other QB classes all the time; it’s not McNabb’s fault that the rest sucked. The Eagles fans wanted Ricky Williams in that draft – how did that workout for the Saints and Dolphins??? He smoked weed and left the league while McNabb was winning games. The Colts had better sense not to draft him and they drafted Edgerrin James. People thought Culpepper was the better QB…he had Randy Moss and Cris Carter for a lil bit. That is all you need really. Of course when Donovan had T.O. he had the best year of his career. But let’s look at the list of other receivers he’s had over the years:

  1. Freddie Mitchell…bum
  2. Greg Lewis…bum
  3. Billy McMullen…bum
  4. Hank Baskett…reality show bum
  5. Todd Pinkston…SUPER BUM
  6. Reggie Brown…SUPER BUM
  7. Charles Johnson…bum
  8. James Thrash…MEGA BUM
  9. Na Brown…no-name bum

Need I go on? The best receivers this man has ever had were T.O., Jeremy Macklin and DeSean Jackson. Kevin Curtis was okay, Jason Avant is cool, but this man has had no help and he’s taken bums to the NFC Championship game 5 times. And for those of you, who don’t believe so, let me tell you, Donovan McNabb is the best QB in Eagles history, period. I love Randall Cunningham, but Donovan was a better QB. He leads just about every Eagles QB category; it will be a long time before anyone passes those records and for 11 years, this man has had you going into the season thinking that the playoffs were a foregone conclusion. Do you think Kevin Kolb will do that with the consistency that McNabb did it? I am not sure. And I don’t hate on Kolb at all. But let’s be real here. For an entire decade, this man was the team. And I don’t say not to trade him, I say, show this man respect in the process. He made the Eagles relevant again. In case you don’t remember the years before McNabb was the QB, let me refresh it…Ty Detmer, Rodney Peete, Bobby Hoying??? Remember that? The highlight of those years was Irving Fryer’s 4 TD game in 1997. And look, the last few years haven’t been the best, but, let’s be real here, Donovan can’t play defense and he certainly doesn’t call the plays. Maybe, if the Eagles defense was a bit better…maybe if they could stop somebody and maybe if Andy Reid wanted to, I don’t know, run the ball for a change, the team might have been better. And another point, the man (Donovan) has had to deal with the BS…Rush Limbaugh making that stupid comment about Black QB’s and coming at McNabb…Getting booed on draft day when he was arguably the best player to come out in that draft – he never got into any trouble, he worked hard on the field, yet BS was what he dealt with, as we all do. But show him some respect for that.

Here is the thing about the Eagles. In 07, they draft Kolb. The hand writing was on the wall at that point. How? Well, Kolb was their first pick in that draft. Why do that if you weren’t thinking future? Next, they sign Vick last year. All that crap Laurie talked about Vick, he went along with the signing and you knew that after they picked up his option and paid him last month that he was gonna be here. That was strike 2 against Donovan. Strike 3 was the fact that they never tried to re-negotiate his contract. With all that, you knew Donovan was a gonner. Reid says in February that Donovan was his QB. It was a lie. And then, he gets on TV and says that all three QB’s are open for trade discussions, knowing that McNabb was the only guy that was gonna really get traded. Then, he says all of this at a press conference and didn’t speak to Donovan when he decided that was what he wanted to do. Come on. Then, the best you can do is send the man to Oakland or Buffalo??? Are you serious? This man meant so much to the team according to you and you wanna exile him to Oakland??? Buffalo??? How much do you think of this guy? Then, you end up trading him to the Redskins, a division rival and a team you play twice. Why would you do that? Andy Reid says we did it because it was the best deal for us and Donovan wanted to go there. No, you did it because it was the best deal you guys got. I know Donovan is a top 10 QB but did you really think that you’d get a #1 pick for him?? Come on. What that deal said was that we don’t fear McNabb beating us: we have the QB we want (Kolb), we may struggle at first but this is a better move and if we really feared Donovan like that, we wouldn’t have sent him within the division or we might not have gotten rid of him all together. The Eagles are full of crap, period. They are so arrogant and cocky, as if they are the class of the NFL and they do business the best way to do business, yet they have no championship to show for it, but that is all Donovan’s fault right?

No, you want some truth? Here is some truth…Andy Reid should have been fired 2 years ago. Yet he gets a contract extension??? And the Eagles were gonna give him one all along, but the waited for the “right time,” which was in the middle of last season while the team was on a winning streak beating bum teams. Here is some more truth Eagles fans, the reason your team will never win a Super Bowl is because you’re coach is a horrible play caller and he cannot make adjustments during a game or in a week, proved by the Dallas Cowboys last season. He won’t run the ball to save his life. He practically ended Brian Westbrook’s career. How? He used Westbrook to death because for years he was in denial about his need for Wide Receivers. And to top it all off, each year at training camp, this man lies to you all and cons you into believing that the group of bums he’s assembled over the off-season can compete for a Super Bowl? Are you kidding me? 5 of those NFC Championship games can be attributed to McNabb, Jim Johnson and that Starting Defense. The truth is your coach needs to be fired. The probable truth is that most folks calling for McNabb to be traded are the same dumbass people who took a second mortgage on their houses to go to Jacksonville for the Super Bowl. The truth is that when Kolb messes up and Michael Vick gets in the game, the same Eagles fans calling for Vick’s head on a stick when he was signed will be cheering louder than ever because for them, Vick will represent hope. And the truth is that your team President and Owner need to go as well, because they think they know something and all they know is how to be is competitive. And they do this mess on Resurrection Sunday…how fitting.

I don’t know what the future holds for McNabb, Kolb, the Eagles or the Skins, but I do know that the Eagles have a track record for loving you when you’re young and tossing you when you’re old. They’re like a man who keeps getting divorced so that he can get with younger women…they are like Hugh Hefner…yup…getting with beautiful women, having sex with them all day and tossing them when a younger thang comes along. Well, Hef is getting old and all that fucking is gonna make his Dick fall off. After all their screwing and fucking over the years, the Philadelphia Eagles better hope that its Dick doesn’t fall off.

Go Skins!!!