Theodore DeReese Pendergrass, Sr.
I couldn’t believe it when I heard. I just want to take some time out and show some love and remembrance to one of the kings of R&B. Now if you know me, you know that my absolute favorite genre of music is Old School R&B a.k.a. Rhythm and Blues from the 1970’s and 1980’s (Yes, the 1980’s quantify as Old School now). And in my humble opinion, there are 5 Kings of Old School R&B, the Fabulous 5 if you will; Barry White, Luther Vandross, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye and Teddy Pendergrass…You cannot contest those names…older heads may say Smokey Robinson, others may ask why isn’t a Temptation on the list…Doesn’t matter. Those 5, with the exception of Stevie, made panties melt. Stevie made you fall in love, as the other 4 did as well. But Stevie wasn’t about the draws—as much. But those 5 are responsible for the making of more babies than many will admit. Teddy P was responsible for a lot of the babies made, affairs had, honeymoons and much, much more.
Now let me say a word on Teddy P. Teddy Pendergrass was the man. He was originally hired to Harold Melvin’s group as a replacement drummer. He later became the lead singer. The name of the band was Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes…but Teddy Pendergrass was asked by Harold Melvin himself to be the lead singer…that is how bad this man was. He later went solo, and he had too. Harold Melvin couldn’t hold him. Usher started having concerts with women only; Teddy Pendergrass was the originator. He had numerous Ladies only concert tours where no men were allowed in the building. If a man was found, he was promptly escorted out. Panties thrown on the stage…women fainting like the chick on the Five Heartbeats when Eddie Kane kissed her… women on the stage…Teddy with hair on his chest and women liked it – and most women hate hair on the chest of a man today. Teddy was the truth. This man made countless hits under the Sound of Philadelphia umbrella—Philadelphia International Records, with legends Kenny Gamble and Camden’s own Leon Huff. With a stable that included the O’Jays, The Stylistics, Patti LaBelle and The Spinners, and Phyllis Hyman, Teddy P. was ruler. At the age of 31, at the prime of his career, he became paralyzed from the waist down due to a car accident in the Germantown section of Philly. Yesterday he lost his battle with colon cancer. I’ve seen how tough that fight can be, I lost my grandmother to the same disease. Teddy was only 59.
Now let me get on my soapbox. You got these young cats making these sex songs…I invented sex, I reinvented sex, lick you like a lollypop—shorty wanna thug…they might as well ask, “Would you like to engage in intercourse?” These cats, they need to learn a thing or two from Teddy. Now at the award shows, when someone from the Old School is honored, all these young cats wanna run up on stage and say that the Old School artists was their inspiration and they aspire to reach that level of music…B U L L S H I T. They are liars and the truth is not in them. First of all, many of them cannot sing. Second, they don’t know how to manipulate their voice to make them sound even sexier than they claim to be. See, the thing about Teddy was that while his songs were very erotic and sexual, he used the raw power and emotion in his voice to make them that sound that way. The words themselves didn’t necessarily translate into sex. It was how the words were delivered. Example – Turn off the lights, light a candle, tonight I am in a romantic mood, let’s take a shower, a shower together, I’ll wash your body and you wash mine, rub me down in some hot oils babe and I’ll do the same thing to you – that isn’t even sexual per se…all those things would qualify as being romantic, and he even says in the song that he is in a romantic mood. Those words don’t have the hint of sex…it’s all fourplay – which is what women want and why Teddy had the panties melting. And the way that he said those words, the power and the strength…that is what made the words sexual.
The art of wooing women isn’t just saying all the right things, but it’s knowing exactly what to do, how to do it and how to say it. See, Teddy does two things in his songs…1) he’s telling women what they want to hear, so that even if she is making love to a man and he hasn’t or is unwilling to do those things, her imagination is enough to make her reach her climax without his help and 2) he’s telling men what to do to get the draws. Trey Songs, Usher…they might as well say, “Ima beat it up til your feet turn red and break off.” They might as well…hell, you got Drake, 50 cent and Lil Wayne basically saying, “Girl, Ima fuck ya.” That’s all we got; and these young girls running around here like groupies over these cats. You got 2 muscles on your chest and you think you can take your shirt off, sing a song and think you’re the man? “Have a baby by me baby, be a millionaire?” Are you serious? That aint sexy. You’re not getting any action with that wack ass train-of-thought. Let me break this down.
Cats like Teddy P understood that a woman wants to be chased, she wants to be wooed, she wants to be enjoyed and she wants to be appreciated. The ultimate expression of all these things is shown in a man’s ability to take his time, give his effort and romanticize her in such a way that she wouldn’t dare imagine being anywhere else but with that guy she’s with. Teddy also understood that sex for a woman is different than sex for a man, or at least he knew how to pretend. Men are attracted by what they see. Women are attracted by what they feel. In order for a man to have an orgasm, all he needs to know is that he is having sex with a physically attractive female…that or alcohol because liquor will trick you into thinking that she’s physically attractive. But a women needs to work her way to that orgasm. It takes time. Men, don’t think that when you put it in that she’s gonna explode…not likely. If she does explode, it is because she has had sex with you on her mind all day or all week…or even longer than that. Her imagination can lead her to an instant orgasm. But generally, that doesn’t even happen. You’ve got to take your time and allow for her to enjoy herself. Teddy got that. Many of us are still trying to figure that out. We can all still learn from Teddy’s music.
And after his accident, he didn’t roll over and die. He wasn’t the same man, but he reinvented himself. He spoke around the country, raised money for disabled people and he took charge of his life. Teddy was a role model for never giving up, no matter the circumstances. He was one of a kind, a musical talent and a voice that will be missed. Prayers go out to this man’s family and my prayer is that all was well with his soul’s salvation. As we focus on Haiti, and rightfully so, let’s take a moment and remember Teddy P. This man is Philadelphia’s own. More importantly, remember the talent and body of work, because music and talent like Teddy’s won’t be around much long if music keeps going the way it’s going. Of the 5 Kings, only Stevie Wonder is left. Let us appreciate him, as we should have appreciated Mr. Pendergrass.



So I wanted to say a quick word about this Chris Brown and Rihanna mess. And I invite comments so please chime in with your thoughts; I’d love to hear them. Forget the fact that yesterday the Congress passed a bill with the largest dollar amount attached to it, no no; let’s talk about Chris Brown and his alleged situation with his fiancée – That is what a lot of people are thinking about. Me personally, I wanna know when I am getting that next stimulus check, for how much, and where else is the tax money going? And will there be regulations this time to make sure the banks lend money rather than keep it for themselves. But this Chris Brown thing warrants some attention. If for no other reason than because most of Brown’s adoring fans are in the 8 year old to 16 year old age bracket. And most of those fans are young women. What would you do or what would you say to your 12 year old daughter who loves Chris Brown and listens to his music? Would you let her continue to do so? Would you talk about this incident? We should pay it some mind here.
Here is what happened…They were at a party, Chris left the phone down, Rihanna looked through his phone and saw the text…she was quiet all night…He wanted to know what was wrong and she was like “don’t touch me, I’m fine,” he tried to save face so he initiated their departure from the party and they got into the car and here is how the rest of the conversation went (Let me apologize now on behalf of Chris and Rihanna for the vulgarity of the language):
Normally, I have a lot to talk about regarding something that is on my mind.
Before Kanye West and Rihanna…before State Property, there was Memphis Bleek, Amil and Beanie Sigel. But then, something happened…Rocafella was no more. Jay-Z and Dame Dash went their separate ways, amidst rumors that Dame was taking money that wasn’t his to fund his private ventures; satisfying his hunger to be a mogul like Puff and eventually Jay-Z. Dame allegedly took money, then he signed Cam’ron and made him an executive on the label and there was always tough feelings between Jay-Z and Cam; Kanye was left to chose sides and the rest of the heads on the label were dropped. Now, all of a sudden, from the depths of various prison sentences, Sigel has returned to drop a new album and clear the air. He’s released a new song coming at Jay and asking WTH???
Not to meditate on this too much, but I do have some thoughts about this. First, I wanna come at Sigel. I don’t care what anyone says dude, you gotta grow up. You are damn near forty trying to play the hood. You cannot do that. Are you gonna listen to anyone just cause they tell you that they got you and so you can keep living a lifestyle that will ultimately lead to your ruin? Jay-Z is right…you at least had one Bentley…It was brown and rusty looking. I seen it at the Loews in Cherry Hill one night I was at the movies and you was with your girl. But dude, you gotta grow up. You kept getting arrested and you know what, if I was Jay, and I was separating myself from cats because I was changing my social circles and growing in a number of ways, I’d stay away from you too, period.
Who is just the least desirable woman you can think of?
Human beings are beings of relationship.
Now let me be clear, there are exceptions to this rule and, the rule doesn’t apply in the same way to a relationship that is new as it does a relationship that has some duration to it. And I am not simply talking about romantic relationships. I am specifically talking about any relationship between a man and a woman; father-daughter, employer-employee; husband-wife to name a few. You might think what about a mother and her son…I didn’t mention ultimately, the father sets the agenda of that relationship—so a father will not tolerate any disrespect from any male towards his female, even his male son. Thus, because the ruler of that agenda has created an importance for “his” woman, the wife/mom is respected. Don’t get respect twisted with love folks. The maternal relationship produces love automatically, but not respect. With maturity comes understanding which leads to respect, yet the man will engineer a respect for the wife/mother even though the son doesn’t quite understand why he is to respect her…he simply does. So the man sets the tone. What does it all mean? It doesn’t mean that women do not set agendas or have “power” or anything like that. This discussion has nothing to do with power. What it has to do with is God’s design of the man and the woman—that design is why many households, relationships and lives are in complete disarray.
I feel like I am rambling here, but the point that I am trying to make is that men have the special ability to change the agenda and when he changes the agenda in his relationships with his woman, his children, his friends, family and with himself; changing the agenda for the better, things are gonna change. Things are going to balance themselves out, and although things may not get better immediately or at all, resolution will enable all persons involved in that relationship to live their lives as healthy as possible. Men, we have the power to empower those whom we care about. I am not perfect and I do not speak as the moral authority here, but I challenge you all as I challenge myself to think differently when it comes to my relationships. I have said and done some things that I am not proud of. And now I try to be mindful that with my wife and with my other relationships, that I set the tone. Men, when we fail to set a positive tone, we’ve failed to liberate lives and create the conditions for healthy growth.
On Voting
November 3, 2009 in Politics & Political Commentary, Social Awareness | Tags: Barack Obama, Bilderberg Group, Election Day, Eyes on the Prize, John McCain, Malcolm X, Nation of Islam, Voting | by rrmiller83 | 1 comment
Black people…is it important that we vote?
I wrote something a few years back about why I think that it was important for us to vote. Of course with the 2008 Presidential Election, we all rallied behind then candidate Barack Obama and voted like I always knew we could vote. It was a beautiful sight. I woke up early and my mother and I stood in a long line. Looking at the man Black folk in that line, I knew it was gonna be a historic day.
But now, I just sit back and reflect. Amazingly, a year has changed my mind somewhat. I have a short term view and a long term view on voting, which is made more complex due to the historical implications surrounding the idea of voting. In the short term, I recognize that voting is important and essential regarding how we are represented, particularly on the local level. Long term, I am not sure how much voting actually does because there are powers that are controlling policies and institutions that we are all unaware of. So I am a bit torn.
What makes this all worse is the historical implications; how Black people fought and died for the right to participate in voting. I think that is what really pisses me of; the fact that Black folk fought hard to vote yet there are back door deals and powers that control how our country is ran and how the world is governed. It is straight depressing. You know, one of the main reasons that I voted for Obama was because he was the best qualified Black man for the job. I mean, White men since our country’s inception had had numerous chances to mess up the country, let’s give the Black man a chance to do the same. But I look at the way things have been happening and the decisions being made and all that, and I really believe that there really wouldn’t be too much difference in McCain and Obama regarding certain issues. Rush Limbaugh is running around mad calling for Obama’s head because he believes that Obama will end capitalism as we know it, but Obama is a Capitalist’s Capitalist. He and McCain would have signed that stimulus bill, he and McCain would have continued to talk tough while sliding the banks billions, the “war” on terror would still be a failure with our troops getting injured or hurt – Obama in Afghanistan or McCain in Iraq; essentially, both would do things the same, with a few differences. Both would have associations with private groups, such as the Bilderberg group. I mean, it is tough to believe when you see things through opened eyes.
And if you believe in prophecy, it’s hard to discount it. I, of course, believe in Christian prophecy. Nevertheless, it is a scary notion on what is to come. With all of that being said, looking at these Election Day races, particularly in New Jersey for Governor, I ask myself, does it really make a difference? I feel like our two party system is a joke. A politician would argue with me. At the end of the day, I believe that the system is a good one. What are screwed up are the people within the system. But our people fought hard and even died to vote…for screwed up politicians? I don’t think that they died for that. I don’t think that they died for the “democratic process” to be a mask for a greater structure of democracy that we are unaware of and have no participation in. Voting does make a difference and can change outcomes. I agree with that. But we cannot be blinded by the idea that vote changes everything. One thing that made Black America great is because we took matters into our own hands. We are a resourceful people. We know how to work within limitations and do more with less. If rent is due and you cannot convince the landlord to give an extension, you had a rent party. If you were denied care from the government, the Church stepped in and gave you the care and resources that you needed. We, as a people, must get back to that…organizing in a way that allows us to be independent and interdependent.
I am not Islamic, but I second Brother Malcolm’s assertion that the Nation of Islam had the potential to be the most powerful organization for Blacks due to its resourcefulness and interdependence. But greed and jealously minimized its importance within African America and in society. Greed and jealousy is an issue within any organization…and it is an issue within our nation’s political and economic structure. So what do we do? We organize anyhow and we vote anyhow. There are forces that are beyond our control, yet what matters more is how we treat one another. Voting is important, but the power of voting is not stronger than the power of a people who do for themselves. All voting can do is allow them either the opportunity to do more or re-evaluate to learn how to do more with less. We concentrate too much on having the option to do rather than focusing on the actual doing. Let’s reason to DO more. Don’t just vote today, take an active role in your community. Mentor a kid. Read to some children. Organize to provide kids a place to play ball. That work does more than casting a ballot ever could.
Voting sets the parameters of your work… but it is your hands actually do the work.